Locked Out

I wasn't having the best day today. Mostly because I'm foolish enough to let my husband teach me how to drive. Between him and the attitudes of my in-laws(that's a whole other post), I'm stressed out to the point where I don't care if I ever get my license.

So, I did what I often do when I'm stressed out on a Summer's evening: I grabbed my guitar and headed out to the nearly empty barn for a little concert for the cattle. I was out there for about 45 minutes. When I came back to the house, it was locked. My husband only remembers to lock the door half the time, but Murphy's Law dictates tonight should be one of the nights he remembers. I knew he wouldn't hear the doorbell. I couldn't call him because the barn phone has been disconnected. I went around to the back porch, which is next to our bedroom, and knocked. He was sound asleep, and couldn't hear me.

I went out to the shop and got a screwdriver, pried open the bedroom window, and shouted at him. I asked him politely to let me in. He got up sleepily, and unlocked the door. He did apologize for locking me out, but I'm still not too happy about it. I'm sure some day I'll think it was hysterically funny, but that day is far off.

Little Known Artist of the Month

I think it's time I resurrected this feature. This month, we have an accompanying video. The Little Known Artist of the Month for July is:

Debra Lyn

Here is the video for Debra's single "I Can't Remember to Forget You":

Feelin' Hot

I really don't care for hot weather. July is terrible for heat, and it only leads to the humidity of August. Thanks goodness for rain and air conditioning.

The garden plants love this weather. They're growing like crazy. Unfortunately, the bugs seem to like this weather, too. Hundreds of little grasshoppers ate the tops of my carrots. I have done better keeping the weeds at bay, but the insects have gotten the better of me. Next year's gardening strategy shall include some kind of bug spray.

Writing

Dear Reader,

My writing pace is bugging me. It seems awfully slow. I write about one chapter a week, each chapter being approximately 2,000 words long. At that pace, I can write a bit over 100,000 words a year. It may sound like a lot, but once I get to editing, about half of that will eventually be deleted, and I'll have to add a lot more before the story is in decent enough shape to be published.

This is my first novel, and I want it to be as good as I can possibly make it. It may take another year after I finish the first draft. I've been writing it for over a year already. Tolkien took twenty years to write the Lord of the Rings trilogy, so I guess there's no big rush, though I don't expect to write anything of that caliber or popularity.

Anyway, I should get back to writing. I'd like to get 5,000 words written this week, and time's a wastin'. Wish me luck.

My Rules of Writing

Dear Reader, my last post gave me an idea. I'm going to list my Rules of Writing. I may add to them later on. If you should have any suggestions, feel free to share them in the comments section.


Patronized Saint's RULES OF WRITING:
-------------------------------------

1. Don't Write Crap*
2. Stay True to the Characters
3. Review and Revise
4. Editing is Never "Done" Until Publication


*This rule may be broken only in extreme cases of writer's block, and anything written in such cases is then especially subject to rule number 3.

Procrastination

My procrastination has spread to my writing. I've spent days with the intention of writing chapter 92, and I've written maybe one of the five pages. The short length of the chapters makes the offense worse.

I think I need to just sit down and write four more pages, even if they turn out to be crap, just so I get it done. But that would violate my first rule of writing: Don't Write Crap. However, I may have no choice, as re-writing doesn't seem to be so difficult.

The Orchard

A few years ago, my husband and I started an orchard. We now have a cherry tree, two apple trees, and a pear tree. The past two years, the apple trees and pear tree have come under attack by tree-hating rabbits. Or maybe they're tree-loving rabbits? Anyway, we thought the smaller trees were done for, but they grew back a couple of times. Something is eating the leaves off the little apple tree again, but not stripping bark this year, so we have hope for it.

We actually have apples this year! We've never gotten apples, not even from the old McIntosh that grew out of a bunch of apple cores that were buried 10+ years ago, so this is exciting.

We also got cherries this year! Yay! We got enough to make into a pie, which I made yesterday. It was delicious. I look forward to many more years of making pies from homegrown fruit.

Teeth

On Wednesday, I had my wisdom teeth extracted. I do not recommend this procedure unless it is absolutely necessary(or you really like pain and swelling).

The procedure itself was interesting. For some reason, the top teeth were much easier to extract than were the bottom teeth. Not having had my wisdom teeth removed before, I have no idea if this is the norm. I would have asked, but the surgeon had his fingers in my mouth, and I was pretty numb from the Novocaine.

Here it is, Saturday night, and the swelling in my face has finally subsided to where I look half-way normal. My jaw is still plenty sore, but I'm avoiding the prescription painkillers. I don't want to take anything that powerful or addictive, so I'm alternating between acetaminophen and ibuprofen. The pain is worse at night, so I'm not sleeping well, but I haven't had any major complications.

Chewing is an adventure, but I managed to eat some pizza tonight. Hopefully by this time next week, I will be recovered.

More Stewie!

Mothers of small children can relate to this. This is my favorite Stewie scene.

Weed Massacre

So one of my New Year's Resolutions was to keep the garden free of weeds(or within a reasonable range). I haven't exactly managed that, but I did conduct an all-out assault on the weeds this evening. I have found the four rows of carrots, and several bean plants that I didn't know I had. The hoeing I shall save for another day, because I'm already exhausted from today's events(no, not just from the weeding). It was a good day for gardening.

Irish Humor

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he
meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to
heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when
you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group
together to go right now."

Blues Clues

You'd think by now, children's programming would be perfectly safe. Did you ever notice that in the beginning of Blue's Clues(the older ones at least), Steve asks the kids to help him find his puppy?

And then we try to tell kids not to help strange men look for lost puppies at the park.

We're sending mixed messages here.

Peek-a-Boo with Stewie

The only character worth watching on Family Guy is Stewie, the sarcastic talking baby. Here, he's trying to figure out peek-a-boo.

Announcement!

The angel took her first steps today! Now the entire family can walk! :)

Thank you, Mr. Vice President!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070406/pl_nm/syria_usa_pelosi_dc_3

Finally, somebody says something! Ms. Pelosi has no authority whatsoever to involve herself in foreign policy. It's not a legislative issue. Perhaps she should review this.

Junk

There's a porch on the east side of our house. It has lots of junk on it. The kids brought in an old 45 LP of The Village People. Just what I always wanted: my own copy of Macho Man. It's scratched up and may not play, which is fine because I don't have a record player. Maybe I can use it as a decoration.

Random Stuff I Wrote

My mom once told me that I should keep everything I write. Having followed that advice, I have a box, and several file folders, full of stuff I've written. I was going through the box today, and I found this thing that I wrote probably about 5 or 6 years ago. I thought I'd share it with my reader.

Random Thoughts

Have you ever walked outside on a clear night and looked at the stars? I mean in the country, where you can see thousands of them with few distractions. There's a calm feeling that washes over you and you start to wonder. You wonder about life, why we're here on this Earth, what there is besides this universe.

Have you ever found the answers to your questions through a night of steady thought? Why are we here? Why did God make us? What purpose could He have for us? Why does He even put up with us? We, people, are such screw-ups. We ruin everything, try to understand things that we clearly were not meant to understand, and confuse ourselves beyond the point of redemption in the process. God must have infinite patience.

Do you wonder how your parents dealt with things? You know that times were different then, but do you ever wish you could try it? You enjoy your youth, but you wonder why your parents wouldn't go through it again if they had the chance. This is confusing. Life is confusing. Maybe we're not meant to know why God put us here, or how we're supposed to do things. There are a few rules, but mostly, life is full of choices about unimportant things. They may be important to you at the time, but one day, you'll look back and wonder why you were so wrapped up in something like that. Why did it seem so important?

The questions above cannot have only one answer. They are open to interpretation. Some people wish to have life figured out for them. It doesn't work that way. It you're following some sort of plan, laid out by an "expert", then you're not living at all. You're not experiencing life.

Is health really so important that we need to think of it every minute of every day? Why should you be upset about being slightly overweight when so many are living with fatal diseases? You may be able to fix your problem with exercise, but they're stuck with what they've got. No amount of exercise can prevent cancer or cure it. Why is it that those who are most concerned about health are healthy people? Why are they so concerned about everyone else's lifestyle? The doctors can't even decide how people should live. Why should we listen to someone who creates lifestyles for a living?

Why is everyone so concerned about being politically correct? What is that about, anyway? If you are secure in who and what you are, you will not be offended by politically incorrect speech. If you are truthful, which is difficult these days, then you will not be offended by those who tell you the truth. Do people even want to know the truth? Politicians don't think so, and maybe they're right. People are apathetic. They don't care what happens as long as it doesn't happen to them. Where did humanity go? Do we have to teach a special course in college now? Truth, Decency, and Compassion, 101. Who would take that course? Anyone who needed an elective. It sounds like an easy four credits, doesn't it? Well, I'm sure we could find a way to make it more difficult. Maybe we should make that a choice for a major. You can earn your degree in Lost Art of Humanity Studies.

Soap Opera Poem

Anyone remember Sunset Beach?  Here is a poem I wrote yesterday,
about troubled matriarch Olivia Richards.

The bottle did befriend her
And the alcohol did send her
To a world devoid of feeling
Pain with which she's never dealing

Drunken laughter hides the pain
As she's lost herself again
Unaware of the infliction
Her family feels from her addiction

The ease with which her sorrows drown
Makes the spiral going down
A place that isn't quite so scary
As the man she chose to marry

She hears her children's pleas
Through that liquor-fostered ease
Can they ever hope to reach her
Will life's lessons ever teach her

It's a struggle for supremacy
Begging blinding urge for clemency
She must find a brighter end
She will sober up again

Litterbugs

I just picked up litter along our stretch of highway. Why people can't wait until they find a trash can is beyond me. I picked up an Aquafina bottle. Somewhere out there is a bottled-water loving litterbug. That just seems strange to me.

It's a lovely day. The temperature is somewhere in the 70s, I believe. The thermometer isn't working, so I can't be sure. weatherman says we should see record highs, so that means 80s again. Maybe I'll wash windows today.

Been Sick

I may just give up on spring cleaning. I got sick, and haven't done any more cleaning. I've lost my momentum. It's kind of depressing. At least the sun is shining.