God and Grandpa

I have my grandfather's Rosary, which my mother gave to me. It has a unique scent, which I assume smells something like Grandpa. He died when I was two, so I don't remember him, or even if we ever met, but I've always felt connected to him.

When I was four years old, I was sick with a really high fever. My grandpa visited me in a dream. He was wearing a crown, which my mom said means he's in Heaven. Since then, I've thought highly of Grandpa, and I'm honored to have his Rosary.

Whenever I'm feeling really sad or scared, I take out Grandpa's Rosary, and go outside to sit under the stars or take a walk. Sometimes I pray with it, in times of crisis. But usually I'll just hold it, smell it, kiss it, and it's comforting.

Tonight I took a walk in the darkness. No moon tonight, so it was very dark, and the stars were very clear. I walked up this lane that runs out behind the barn and through the west fields to a back road. I walked halfway down, clutching Grandpa's Rosary, talking to God and to myself and some to Grandpa. I didn't really have much to say, but I wanted that connection.

Sometimes I feel very much alone. I talk to myself a lot, but I figure that so long as I'm not talking to invisible people, I'm still sane. :) I have the misfortune of wanting to talk to someone when everyone is busy. So that's when I go outside and talk to God and Grandpa. They always listen, and I know they're there.