Day Four: Portugal

Today's country is Portugal.

Interesting fact: Due to the influence of Roman Catholicism, Portugal is one of the most socially conservative countries in Europe. Abortion was only legalized through a referendum in 2007, causing much controversy. A Catholic priest vowed to excommunicate all people voting in favor of legalizing abortion.(eupedia.com)

Personally, I think it's sad that only one priest had the courage to stand up for doctrine. It's terrible, the times we live in.

Day Three: South Africa

Interesting fact about South Africa: The world's first human-to-human heart transplant was performed in South Africa in 1967 by South African Dr. Christiaan Barnard.

Day Two: Chad

The globe I'm using belonged to my grandmother, so when my finger landed on "Equatorial French Africa" I had to look up a modern map to figure out what country it was today. Today's country is Chad.

For those who don't know, Chad is a country in north-central Africa. Industries of Chad include: oil, cotton textiles, meatpacking, beer brewing, natron (sodium carbonate), soap, cigarettes, and construction materials.

Chad is in turmoil right now, as rebels are trying to overthrow the government. Tens of thousands of civilians are fleeing the country to escape the violence.

Day One: Canada

I chose today's country by closing my eyes, spinning a globe of the world, and stopping it with my finger. It landed on Canada. Now that I think of it, the odds of hitting Canada and Russia are awfully big using that method, but that doesn't mean they don't need prayers. So, throughout the day today, I shall send up prayers for the people of Canada.

Interesting Fact: Canada's highest temperature, 45 degrees C (113 degrees F), was recorded at Midale, Saskatchewan. The lowest temperature was minus 63 degrees C (minus 81 degrees F) measured at Snag, Yukon Territory.

Lenten Prayer Project

Dear Reader, I wanted to do something different for Lent this year. I've decided to pray for a different country every day from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday. I'll pick a country at random, and pray for it throughout the day. I'll try to learn something about each country so that each day will also be a learning experience.

This project may require daily posting, something I've never really attempted. :)

It all starts tomorrow. Feel free to join in with prayers or suggested countries.

Lent

Dear Reader, Ash Wednesday comes early this year. It wasn't hard to decide what I would give up for Lent, but it will be hard to do without it. I'm giving up caffeine. That means no chocolate, no Pepsi, and no coffee. I practically live on coffee these days. Not to keep me awake, but to keep me warm. Hot coffee on a cold day is wonderful. I drink it pretty much all day, or at least all morning.

This year will be tough.

Adventures in Parenting

My five-year-old daughter has managed to get her winter boots completely soaked, something I realized as she was going out the door this morning to get on the bus. I'm trying to figure out how to dry the boots before tomorrow. Meanwhile, she's wearing another pair of boots, also soaked, but hopefully not quite as much.

Fifteen minutes under a hair dryer didn't seem to help. Right now they're propped up on the heat register, which I already know does a fair job with drying soaked mittens. I guess I'll try leaving them there for a few hours and see if that helps.

Meanwhile, I'm still searching for the tennis shoe she lost over the weekend.

Resolution

Dear Reader,

Last year's New Year's Resolutions didn't go so well. This year, I have only one: to save money. I'm not going to waste any money this year. I'm hoping that I can get myself into the habit of saving, because that would be very beneficial for the future. Here's hoping I have better luck this year.

Law School

Earlier this year, I had an epiphany of sorts. Up until then, I'd been resigned to the life I have, not really thinking about doing anything different, and feeling kinda old. Then one day I realized I'm only 24 years old. I'm still young. I still have my whole life ahead of me. People my age are still going to school.

That got me thinking about how much I liked college, and how long it would take me to finish my degrees. And then I started thinking about something that I've thought about off and on over the years only to dismiss it as something I didn't really want to do. I was thinking about going to law school.

I've always liked the law, and I love lawyer shows(yes, I know they're not real). The one thing that always kept me from seriously considering pursuit of a law degree was the courtroom. It would be a constant battle against performance anxiety.

However, this didn't seem such an obstacle this summer, when I was thinking about it again. I sent for an updated transcript and course evaluation from my school. I'll need two full semesters to graduate with my double major. They don't have a pre-law program, so I would have to find another school.

Enter problem #1: travel. The nearest school with a law program is more than an hour's drive from home. I haven't yet gotten my driver's license.

Problem #2: child care. We have four children. The three oldest are in school full-time, and the youngest just turned two. My mother-in-law would watch her for a reasonable price, but we can't afford that on one income. Also, I would miss the angel terribly.

And problem #3: We might decide to have another baby. We've been talking around it for awhile now. I get terrible morning sickness that would interfere with studying, and I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a newborn with a babysitter(not even Grandma). That last part would depend upon timing, as I can take courses online to finish my degrees, which I want to do rather than transfer and face losing credits.

So I decided to wait it out, and see if this was a passing fancy. Here after several months, and one awkward conversation with my husband about it, for some odd reason, I find myself still wanting to be a lawyer.

I'm not sure what to do about it now, because it's a most inconvenient path to take at the moment. Perhaps I should stick with writing, and settle for writing about lawyers. I really don't know. I welcome advice from anyone who has some to give.

Thursdays

I figured out my least favorite day of the week, and today is it. Thursdays suck. The week's more than half over, but it's still not Friday. The kids had a short night due to religious education classes. I have no more patience than the sleepy, whimpering five-year-old who can't remember how to dress herself. There's nothing good on television tonight. Oh, and it's -7 degree this morning, which doesn't help at all. Thursday is the worst day of my week.

Late Night Television

The beauty of late night comedy is that by the time it's on, you're so tired, everything is funny. Conan O'Brien can keep me in stitches when I'm exhausted.

Misadventures in Cooking

Dear Reader, I made macaroni salad today. I forgot to make sure the macaroni was cool before mixing. The result was half-melted cubes of cheddar cheese. The salad still tastes delicious, but it's a bit stringy. I highly recommend following the directions when cooking, even if you've made something a thousand times.

New Appliance

My new carpet cleaner arrived today. This is what I got. Not a very good picture, I know. It was the best one I could find.

I know just where to try it out. The carpet in the downstairs hallway is in desperate need of cleaning. It's really too bad I got this just in time for the weekend. I probably can't use it until Tuesday, when the kids go back to school, or they'll be walking all over the wet carpet.

Snow

It's snowing! This isn't the first snow, but it's still kinda exciting.

Patience

Is it normal to have less patience as you get older? I've gotten to the point where I can't stand to sit in one place for too long at one thing. Case in point: I used to love jigsaw puzzles, but the last two times I attempted to put one together, I got bored with it, and had to put it away.

I can't seem to sit through an entire movie, either. They take up so much time, and I keep thinking about all the things that I need to be doing, and how late it's getting. I don't go to the theater more than once a year, so most of my movie viewing is at home.

I think I can still read for hours at a time, and maybe write too if I'm on a roll, but anything else gets boring fast. I don't know if this is good or bad. On the one hand, I get more exercise when I go from task to task. But I don't like the short attention span. I'll have to think about this more later because I have things to do.

Forgotten Blog

After my driving test failure, I haven't felt much like updating this blog. Nothing much has happened anyway. I'm still writing. I'm closing in on 168,000 words. I'm fairly certain I'll break 200,000 before the story is finished. I can't imagine what I'll write next. After putting two or so years into one story, I'll have to start another one, or I'm apt to feel lost. Or worse, give in to the temptation to write a sequel. I do have other stories started, so perhaps I'll feel inspired to take up one of those to finish. I'll just have to make sure I create characters I can have fun writing.

Farmer Girl

I got to help a bit with the harvest this week. I was babysitting the hopper to make sure it didn't overflow with corn while the wagon unloaded. I only helped for a few hours while the angel was napping, but it was fun.

Failure

Well, I failed the road test.

Apprehension

Tomorrow is my driving test. Last night, as I waited for sleep to come, I envisioned all sorts of horrible accidents I could get into. This is not helpful. I'm anxious enough as it is without thoughts of injury or death. I'm not so worried about myself, but that I might hurt someone else. I don't think I could forgive myself if I hurt someone with my car.

On a somewhat unrelated subject, I saw Bourne Ultimatum yesterday(lots of car crashes in that movie). It was beyond awesome, and everyone must see it.

Break Time

After 18 months, I'm taking a break from writing. I figure a month should be long enough. No updates, no deadlines. I can write what I want, when I want; or not at all. It's good to have the pressure off. Granted, I put all that pressure on myself, but I've put more effort into my story than I have into just about anything I've ever done. I think it's good for me.

I can't quite relax though, because my driving test is next week. I haven't driven in over a week. A neck injury prevented driving practice for a few days last week. I've been reading the Wisconsin Motorists' Handbook and Study Guide. A little more practice with parallel parking and negotiating parking lots, and I should be good to go.

Movie Review: The Others

I've been watching some creepy movies lately. With the older movies, it's more of a film study, and I don't get too into the story, but watch for things that made them creepy. The twists are usually predictable, or at least not terribly surprising. But the twist in The Others was great.

The film started out alright. The music wasn't really creepy, the main character seemed a bit odd, but her strangeness was explained away. I settled in for two hours of what I figured would be more mildly creepy stuff with increasingly creepy music.

As the movie progressed, things got weirder and weirder, and I wasn't quite sure what was going on. It was starting to seem like some sick practical joke, 1940s style. Then the twist hit. Wow. I did not see that coming. Rarely does a movie have such a surprise ending.

On a scale of 1 to 10:

Music: 8
Creepiness: 6
Acting: 10
Plot Twists: 10

School

It's finally here: the first day of school. I had the kids ready to go nearly half an hour before the bus came because I figured it would come early due to road construction. It came maybe five minutes early, though we waited about twenty. We had to wait for it at the end of the driveway because the view of the road from the kitchen window is blocked by corn and a tree branch.

All of that waiting would have been alright if I hadn't injured my neck yesterday. I woke up yesterday morning, adjusted my neck as I usually do, and got a cramp, or so I thought. Turns out I pinched a nerve or ligament or something. I've done this before. It takes a few days to get better. Meanwhile, my head is almost constantly tilted to the left, I can't make sudden movements, and I can't turn my head very far to the right.

The limited range of motion will keep me from practicing my driving for a few days. The last practice went rather well. I didn't get lost, but the Wal-Mart parking lot continues to torture me. Hopefully, my neck will get better soon, and I'll get more practice in before my road test in two weeks.

Driving #3

The last driving session went very well. I'm still getting the hang of some of those hills and get going a little fast on the downhill side, but aside from the incidental speeding, I didn't break any laws.

I was also able to get to my destination without first getting lost. This is very big for me. Unfortunately, I wasn't in my hometown. I still don't know my way around very well, and I don't know why I can't figure it out.

My road test is scheduled for mid-September. I get nervous just thinking about it, so I try not to. At least I have a few more weeks to practice.

Little Known Artist of the Month

The Little Known Artist of the Month for August:

The Elected

This band has an old sound that's great on rainy days or when you just feel like taking it easy. Check out their website and listen to "Fireflies in a Steel Mill." You'll swear you've tuned into an oldies station. You can even buy their albums in vinyl format!

This video is pretty neat, too:

More Driving

Today's driving went very well. I only missed one turn, and had to go around the block, but in my defense, I didn't have enough room to get into the left lane on the first pass.

I have no sense of direction. I just don't know my way around. For example: I know how to get to Kwik Trip coming into town from the North. I can even get there from the back way around the church. But I don't know how to get there from the Hospital.

Hopefully, I'll figure this all out with practice.

Driving

I'm learning to drive this year. My husband is my driving teacher, so that adds a new level of difficulty. His favorite teaching methods are overreacting, and explaining what would happen if the roads were icy and how our insurance rates would go sky high.

Every time I drive, I run into some new situation that I need to work on. First, it was slowing down for turns. After that, pedestrians on the road. Then came farm machinery. Now I'm having trouble with parking, and stop lights.

I did stop for the red light, barely. I was thinking about where I needed to turn, and didn't slow down soon enough. So, I need to work on my concentration, which is nothing new. I've always had a one-track mind, so multi-tasking is difficult.

The next driving adventure should come on Tuesday.

Tired

I think I'll start a new feature here at the Soap Box: You Know You're Too Tired When...

...When you try to wash your hands with toothpaste.

I did that today. It took me a minute to figure out that it was toothpaste and not soap, never mind that soap doesn't come in tubes.

My Day

Dear Reader, today was very busy. We have company coming tomorrow, so I spent most of the morning cleaning. To break up the monotony, I cleaned in shifts, spending 15 minutes in one room, then 15 minutes in another and so on. The house looks great, but I'm exhausted.

I gave the three older girls haircuts, and they all look pretty decent.

The angel is sick. She threw up in the van on the way home from church. Poor little thing. She had to take another bath(she hates baths), and go straight to bed. Hopefully, she'll be better tomorrow.

Guitar

I've been playing my guitar a little bit every day. I'm getting much better at playing the same songs over and over, but I've been thinking about getting some sort of instructional video to improve my playing over all.

In other news, I had another actual conversation with my father-in-law yesterday. We talked for about an hour, covering subjects ranging from driving practice to disciplining children. This is good.

Locked Out

I wasn't having the best day today. Mostly because I'm foolish enough to let my husband teach me how to drive. Between him and the attitudes of my in-laws(that's a whole other post), I'm stressed out to the point where I don't care if I ever get my license.

So, I did what I often do when I'm stressed out on a Summer's evening: I grabbed my guitar and headed out to the nearly empty barn for a little concert for the cattle. I was out there for about 45 minutes. When I came back to the house, it was locked. My husband only remembers to lock the door half the time, but Murphy's Law dictates tonight should be one of the nights he remembers. I knew he wouldn't hear the doorbell. I couldn't call him because the barn phone has been disconnected. I went around to the back porch, which is next to our bedroom, and knocked. He was sound asleep, and couldn't hear me.

I went out to the shop and got a screwdriver, pried open the bedroom window, and shouted at him. I asked him politely to let me in. He got up sleepily, and unlocked the door. He did apologize for locking me out, but I'm still not too happy about it. I'm sure some day I'll think it was hysterically funny, but that day is far off.

Little Known Artist of the Month

I think it's time I resurrected this feature. This month, we have an accompanying video. The Little Known Artist of the Month for July is:

Debra Lyn

Here is the video for Debra's single "I Can't Remember to Forget You":

Feelin' Hot

I really don't care for hot weather. July is terrible for heat, and it only leads to the humidity of August. Thanks goodness for rain and air conditioning.

The garden plants love this weather. They're growing like crazy. Unfortunately, the bugs seem to like this weather, too. Hundreds of little grasshoppers ate the tops of my carrots. I have done better keeping the weeds at bay, but the insects have gotten the better of me. Next year's gardening strategy shall include some kind of bug spray.

Writing

Dear Reader,

My writing pace is bugging me. It seems awfully slow. I write about one chapter a week, each chapter being approximately 2,000 words long. At that pace, I can write a bit over 100,000 words a year. It may sound like a lot, but once I get to editing, about half of that will eventually be deleted, and I'll have to add a lot more before the story is in decent enough shape to be published.

This is my first novel, and I want it to be as good as I can possibly make it. It may take another year after I finish the first draft. I've been writing it for over a year already. Tolkien took twenty years to write the Lord of the Rings trilogy, so I guess there's no big rush, though I don't expect to write anything of that caliber or popularity.

Anyway, I should get back to writing. I'd like to get 5,000 words written this week, and time's a wastin'. Wish me luck.

My Rules of Writing

Dear Reader, my last post gave me an idea. I'm going to list my Rules of Writing. I may add to them later on. If you should have any suggestions, feel free to share them in the comments section.


Patronized Saint's RULES OF WRITING:
-------------------------------------

1. Don't Write Crap*
2. Stay True to the Characters
3. Review and Revise
4. Editing is Never "Done" Until Publication


*This rule may be broken only in extreme cases of writer's block, and anything written in such cases is then especially subject to rule number 3.

Procrastination

My procrastination has spread to my writing. I've spent days with the intention of writing chapter 92, and I've written maybe one of the five pages. The short length of the chapters makes the offense worse.

I think I need to just sit down and write four more pages, even if they turn out to be crap, just so I get it done. But that would violate my first rule of writing: Don't Write Crap. However, I may have no choice, as re-writing doesn't seem to be so difficult.

The Orchard

A few years ago, my husband and I started an orchard. We now have a cherry tree, two apple trees, and a pear tree. The past two years, the apple trees and pear tree have come under attack by tree-hating rabbits. Or maybe they're tree-loving rabbits? Anyway, we thought the smaller trees were done for, but they grew back a couple of times. Something is eating the leaves off the little apple tree again, but not stripping bark this year, so we have hope for it.

We actually have apples this year! We've never gotten apples, not even from the old McIntosh that grew out of a bunch of apple cores that were buried 10+ years ago, so this is exciting.

We also got cherries this year! Yay! We got enough to make into a pie, which I made yesterday. It was delicious. I look forward to many more years of making pies from homegrown fruit.

Teeth

On Wednesday, I had my wisdom teeth extracted. I do not recommend this procedure unless it is absolutely necessary(or you really like pain and swelling).

The procedure itself was interesting. For some reason, the top teeth were much easier to extract than were the bottom teeth. Not having had my wisdom teeth removed before, I have no idea if this is the norm. I would have asked, but the surgeon had his fingers in my mouth, and I was pretty numb from the Novocaine.

Here it is, Saturday night, and the swelling in my face has finally subsided to where I look half-way normal. My jaw is still plenty sore, but I'm avoiding the prescription painkillers. I don't want to take anything that powerful or addictive, so I'm alternating between acetaminophen and ibuprofen. The pain is worse at night, so I'm not sleeping well, but I haven't had any major complications.

Chewing is an adventure, but I managed to eat some pizza tonight. Hopefully by this time next week, I will be recovered.

More Stewie!

Mothers of small children can relate to this. This is my favorite Stewie scene.

Weed Massacre

So one of my New Year's Resolutions was to keep the garden free of weeds(or within a reasonable range). I haven't exactly managed that, but I did conduct an all-out assault on the weeds this evening. I have found the four rows of carrots, and several bean plants that I didn't know I had. The hoeing I shall save for another day, because I'm already exhausted from today's events(no, not just from the weeding). It was a good day for gardening.

Irish Humor

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he
meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to
heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when
you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group
together to go right now."

Blues Clues

You'd think by now, children's programming would be perfectly safe. Did you ever notice that in the beginning of Blue's Clues(the older ones at least), Steve asks the kids to help him find his puppy?

And then we try to tell kids not to help strange men look for lost puppies at the park.

We're sending mixed messages here.

Peek-a-Boo with Stewie

The only character worth watching on Family Guy is Stewie, the sarcastic talking baby. Here, he's trying to figure out peek-a-boo.

Announcement!

The angel took her first steps today! Now the entire family can walk! :)

Thank you, Mr. Vice President!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070406/pl_nm/syria_usa_pelosi_dc_3

Finally, somebody says something! Ms. Pelosi has no authority whatsoever to involve herself in foreign policy. It's not a legislative issue. Perhaps she should review this.

Junk

There's a porch on the east side of our house. It has lots of junk on it. The kids brought in an old 45 LP of The Village People. Just what I always wanted: my own copy of Macho Man. It's scratched up and may not play, which is fine because I don't have a record player. Maybe I can use it as a decoration.

Random Stuff I Wrote

My mom once told me that I should keep everything I write. Having followed that advice, I have a box, and several file folders, full of stuff I've written. I was going through the box today, and I found this thing that I wrote probably about 5 or 6 years ago. I thought I'd share it with my reader.

Random Thoughts

Have you ever walked outside on a clear night and looked at the stars? I mean in the country, where you can see thousands of them with few distractions. There's a calm feeling that washes over you and you start to wonder. You wonder about life, why we're here on this Earth, what there is besides this universe.

Have you ever found the answers to your questions through a night of steady thought? Why are we here? Why did God make us? What purpose could He have for us? Why does He even put up with us? We, people, are such screw-ups. We ruin everything, try to understand things that we clearly were not meant to understand, and confuse ourselves beyond the point of redemption in the process. God must have infinite patience.

Do you wonder how your parents dealt with things? You know that times were different then, but do you ever wish you could try it? You enjoy your youth, but you wonder why your parents wouldn't go through it again if they had the chance. This is confusing. Life is confusing. Maybe we're not meant to know why God put us here, or how we're supposed to do things. There are a few rules, but mostly, life is full of choices about unimportant things. They may be important to you at the time, but one day, you'll look back and wonder why you were so wrapped up in something like that. Why did it seem so important?

The questions above cannot have only one answer. They are open to interpretation. Some people wish to have life figured out for them. It doesn't work that way. It you're following some sort of plan, laid out by an "expert", then you're not living at all. You're not experiencing life.

Is health really so important that we need to think of it every minute of every day? Why should you be upset about being slightly overweight when so many are living with fatal diseases? You may be able to fix your problem with exercise, but they're stuck with what they've got. No amount of exercise can prevent cancer or cure it. Why is it that those who are most concerned about health are healthy people? Why are they so concerned about everyone else's lifestyle? The doctors can't even decide how people should live. Why should we listen to someone who creates lifestyles for a living?

Why is everyone so concerned about being politically correct? What is that about, anyway? If you are secure in who and what you are, you will not be offended by politically incorrect speech. If you are truthful, which is difficult these days, then you will not be offended by those who tell you the truth. Do people even want to know the truth? Politicians don't think so, and maybe they're right. People are apathetic. They don't care what happens as long as it doesn't happen to them. Where did humanity go? Do we have to teach a special course in college now? Truth, Decency, and Compassion, 101. Who would take that course? Anyone who needed an elective. It sounds like an easy four credits, doesn't it? Well, I'm sure we could find a way to make it more difficult. Maybe we should make that a choice for a major. You can earn your degree in Lost Art of Humanity Studies.

Soap Opera Poem

Anyone remember Sunset Beach?  Here is a poem I wrote yesterday,
about troubled matriarch Olivia Richards.

The bottle did befriend her
And the alcohol did send her
To a world devoid of feeling
Pain with which she's never dealing

Drunken laughter hides the pain
As she's lost herself again
Unaware of the infliction
Her family feels from her addiction

The ease with which her sorrows drown
Makes the spiral going down
A place that isn't quite so scary
As the man she chose to marry

She hears her children's pleas
Through that liquor-fostered ease
Can they ever hope to reach her
Will life's lessons ever teach her

It's a struggle for supremacy
Begging blinding urge for clemency
She must find a brighter end
She will sober up again

Litterbugs

I just picked up litter along our stretch of highway. Why people can't wait until they find a trash can is beyond me. I picked up an Aquafina bottle. Somewhere out there is a bottled-water loving litterbug. That just seems strange to me.

It's a lovely day. The temperature is somewhere in the 70s, I believe. The thermometer isn't working, so I can't be sure. weatherman says we should see record highs, so that means 80s again. Maybe I'll wash windows today.

Been Sick

I may just give up on spring cleaning. I got sick, and haven't done any more cleaning. I've lost my momentum. It's kind of depressing. At least the sun is shining.

Spring Cleaning

Ok, so I haven't posted about my progress with spring cleaning. There isn't really much to report. I got sidetracked. I did wash the walls upstairs and did half the woodwork. I really need to get back to it.

Lent

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the kick-off for the Lenten season. This year, I am giving up chocolate, which will not be easy, as I love chocolate. Adding to the struggle is the fact that there will be Oreos in the house all through Lent.

Ash Wednesday is also the start of my Spring Cleaning. Now that I'm blogging more regularly, I plan to post updates showing my progress. As always, I will start with the upstairs, and work my way down, saving windows for last due to the cold weather. I'll probably do the closets next to last, because they're a big project. I've promised the children that they get to help. They're young and inexperienced enough to be excited about it. I don't expect the excitement to last very long.

Lawyer Humor

These are supposedly things people have actually said in court.

ATTORNEY : When is your birthday? WITNESS : July 18th. ATTORNEY : What year? WITNESS : Every year. ____________________________________ ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS : I forget. ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY : How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY : How long has he lived with you? WITNESS : Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : Are you sexually active? WITNESS : No, I just lie there. _____________________________________________ ATTORNEY : What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS : He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY : And why did that upset you? WITNESS : My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS : We both do. ATTORNEY : Voodoo? WITNESS : We do. ATTORNEY : You do? WITNESS : Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he? WITNESS : Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS : Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS : Uh.... _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : She had three children, right? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : How many were boys? WITNESS : None. ATTORNEY : Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS : By death. ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual? WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS : No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS : All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS : Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 pm. ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS : Huh? ______________________________________ As for the last!!! ATTORNEY : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Mice!

I caught mouse number four last night. That's four mice caught within a week. Victor mouse traps are still the best. The mice are going for cheddar this year.

Goodbye Writer's Block

The writer's block of Thursday is history. It was a tough one, because I was in a super-creative mood. I guess I wasn't really uninspired, but rather I wasn't inspired by any one thing in particular. Mostly, I wanted to work on my fanfic, but I was stuck on a scene. I've since gotten past that and finished the chapter. Big thanks to my sister for talking through the plot line with me.

Any writing would have done, but I couldn't think of any other topics. Still, I needed to create something. I eventually settled for starting another music video. It's the first I've made with actual video clips, and it's lots of fun. I'm half done with it, but I'm waiting on more clips. Fan videos are awesome.

Writer's Block

I hate writer's block. I really want to write, but I can't come up with anything. I think I'll have to force my way through it. I could always scrap it later if it sucks. I've rarely felt so uninspired. This is depressing.

Cold!

Last night's low was -17 F. Luckily, it has since warmed up to -11. I'm going downstairs to build a fire in the wood furnace.

Got another one....

I squashed another mosquito yesterday. I failed to kill one I saw a few days before, so the score is now:

Me: 2
Mosquitos: 0

Blonde Joke

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and th e Irishman said,"Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed,"Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.”

Mosquito

I killed a mosquito yesterday in the cellar. It is kinda warm down there from the wood furnace, but seeing a mosquito in January is just weird. 2007 is off to a very strange start. The score stands at:

Me: 1
Mosquitoes: -1

To Do List

Here is part of my To Do List for today. I'll edit from time to time throughout the day to show my progress. Completed items are in italics.

Kids on bus
Dishes
Laundry
Write chapter of fanfic
Write 500 words of novel
Blog about mosquito
Make dessert

Nigerian's View on Al Qaeda vs. USA

The following was posted on the Time-Life blog by a person in Nigeria:


All this yammering about the virtues or otherwise of lashing back at Al Qaeda really gets on my corns.You all have little idea the kind of enemy you are contending with.Previous generations were luckier, their enemies came garbed as ENEMIES. You could tell them a mile off. Well, the forces that despise freedom are not all that stupid anymore. They sat down in hades and concocted a plan to confuse you on their identity.They picked a religion that has held an eternity-long grudge against you and all the values that you stand for.That religion also resents playing second fiddle on the world stage to yours(regardless that a large number of you think the idea of God is some form of fibbing).Next they found excuse in your support of Israel.Far as they are concerned they'd love you to death if you stood by and allowed them erase Israel from the map.And over time they have been infiltrating your lands in their hordes,quite the same as the old KGB went about planting moles during the cold war days.And increasingly they are popping up to attack you.In my far away country over here in Africa I can feel their hatred for you such that I am confident Sept 11th is child's play compared to what they mean to bring upon your heads once the chance presents itself.They love to hear you yapping and yammering about what Bush is doing right or wrong.They love the stupid French who - did you realize - have always been the soft underbelly of western civilization.Go back and look at history.The French, habouring their own selfish and undeserved aims of replacing the US as world power as well as overtake the English language with their tongue, play unwitting agent to the Islamofacists, challenging the US on every issue and scoring cheap popularity points among Arab countries, as though that would save them from the Arab/Muslim ire.As an aside, please believe me when I say you are courting the worst possible dangers sitting back while Iran develops the nuke.Dont be surprised when a smuggled version goes off in Boston harbour someday. When it does, or even worse happens, I will wonder with the rest of the world where all your yammering got you.Understimate your foes and that day will come sooner than expected.

Resolutions

I didn't used to make New Year's resolutions, because I was sure I'd be unable(or unwilling) to keep them. The last few years, I've decided to go ahead and make them. Here's my list for this year:

1. Get more sleep.
2. Finish reading all of the books I've borrowed from family members.
3. Read every work of fiction I own.
4. Keep the house cleaner.(kids can help with that one)
5. Lose ten pounds.
6. Say the rosary every day, or at least every other day.
7. Keep the vegetable gardens weeded.
8. Get more organized.
9. Publish a book.
10. Pay off the unsubsidized portion of my student loans.

Most likely to be broken: #7
Least likely to be broken: #10

Back to School

Christmas break is over and the children have gone back to school. So, of course, I had another school day nightmare last night.

The dream started out nicely. The kids were up and dressed and ready to go early. We were just waiting for the bus to come. Then it all went crazy. The bus showed up and none of the children wanted to get on it. For some reason, I was wandering around in a bathrobe and I had to drag the kids out to the bus. I could only take two on the first trip and had to go back for the third, who was throwing fits over her coat, then her backpack. All the while I was escorting children to the bus, there were two strange women following me around and talking about what awful things kids were up to these days.

All in all, it wasn't such a bad dream, as the kids actually got ON the bus. I've had dreams where we had to chase the bus down the road. I am happy to say that all three of the school aged children made it onto the bus this morning with no trouble. Great start to the new year!

Pepsi Forever

Here is a wonderful fake article about the "Pepsidebility". This is a very serious condition affecting many adults around the world.

P.S. I believe this is my first ever post from my new laptop.

Smiles

One of the reasons the angel is one of my most favorite people: she's the only person who smiles every times she sees me. All I have to do is walk into the room, and her face lights up in the prettiest 1-year-old smile the world has ever seen.

An Irish Toast

This is one of my favorite Irish toasts:

Here's to me and here's to you
And here's to love and laughter
I'll be true as long as you
And not one moment after

Feel free to add your own. There are plenty more good toasts out there, though not all of them are lucky enough to be Irish. :)

Leftovers

Last night, I made corn chowder out of leftover corn and boiled potatoes. It was easy and delicious. I hope to find more creative things to do with leftovers besides soup and meat pie.

Websites

I've taken over my sister's website. This is my second or third attempt at website building/managing(I did two Star Wars fan sites simultaneously, so I don't know if they count as first and/or second).

The site has a built in FTP, which took a little getting used to, but it's going better than I expected. I don't like having to mess with the html code. That is a big pain in the neck. It hasn't beat me yet and I think the site looks fairly decent.

Anyway, you can click here to see my work. Please let me know if anything is broken. Thanks.

Thanksgiving

I had a pretty good Thanksgiving. I started my morning by sleeping in until 8:00. Then I fed the children their breakfast and started baking pies. I prepared the crusts last night to save time. I baked one cherry pie and two pumpkin pies.

Then I gave the angel a bath and tried to get her down for a nap, but she had no intention of sleeping on her first Thanksgiving.

Around noon-ish, we loaded up the kids, one of each kind of pie, and the cranberry-orange relish I had made on Tuesday, and headed for the in-law's house, where we ate in the garage so we'd have enough room. Their garage is plenty big, so even with all of my husband's family there, we didn't seem like a big group.

All-in-all, it was a good day. The angel didn't like the turkey, and stubbornly refused to eat anything but a roll and drink her formula. I had several good conversations with my mother-in-law, and even one with my father-in-law -- a good step toward my goal of improving in-law relations.

Now I'm up way too late and it's almost tomorrow. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving, reader. :)

Raj for Congress

Fans of The Apprentice will remember Raj Bhakta from the second season. Kind of a ladies man, he wears bow ties, red pants, and carries a cane. Memorable, to say the least. I've been following his campaign for a congressional seat in Pennsylvania. I don't know if he'll win, but he is fun to watch and he has a good message. I wish there were more young politicians like him.

There are several YouTube clips of his campaign. You can watch the first here.

Awesome Violinists

Those of you can can watch videos on YouTube, check these out. Amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ROriAM_gUY&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXGg_4Zd2vI&mode=related&search=

Boring TV

There is never anything good to watch on tv on Saturday nights. Out of boredom, I watched baseball. It wasn't even good baseball. It was Dodgers vs. Mets. How did they get to the division series anyway?

Sunday nights aren't much better, though football is back on NBC. The Broncos weren't playing, so I watched baseball again. I usually only watch the World Series. The Cardinals and Padres are more fun to watch than the Dodgers and Mets. I don't much care who wins the penant this year, as the Yankees aren't playing, but I'll probably watch the Series anyway.

"Heroes" and "Studio 60" are on tonight. Hurray for Mondays! NBC finally has some good new shows.

Dentist

We had a family trip to the dentist yesterday, all of us except the angel(baby), who stayed with her Grandma for a few hours. Nobody had any cavities. I haven't had a cavity in three years. So, brushing my teeth on a semi-regular basis has paid off.

In other news, the angel can climb stairs and pull herself to standing. She's ten months old already. And she has another tooth.

Funny Quotes

I got these in an email today.


1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

--Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

--Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

--Drew Carey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."

--Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

--Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

--Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washingt on Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."

--Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."

--Lynda Montgomery



10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it! just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"

--Richard Jeni



11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

--Johnny Carson



12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

--Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."

--Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

--Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."

--Oscar Wilde

16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.. But I repeat myself."

--Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."

--A. Whitney Brown



18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"

--Dave Barry



19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.

--Unknown, presumed deceased



20) "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."

- W. C. Fields

9-11

It seems every generation has a tragic, monumental event to remember. We've gone from "where were you when Kennedy was shot?" to "where were you when Challenger blew up?" to "where were you on 9-11?"

I'm sure most of us remember where we were and what we were doing when we heard about or witnessed the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in Septmeber 2001. I was in my kitchen, having breakfast with my husband, who had just come in from the barn. He turned on the television and we saw the fire in the first tower. We knew a plane had hit it and we thought it was a tragic accident and wondered what had happened and how many people had died.

We were watching live when the second plane hit and at first we weren't sure what had happened. Then it dawned on us that it was deliberate. We stared in shock at the television. "Who would do something like that?" we wondered.

We still wonder at the senselessness of it all. Why do people think that violence solves problems? Why would anyone think it ok to murder thousands of people?

My husband and I handle 9-11 quite differently. He reads every article, every website, every theory he comes across. He watches videos and listens to 9-1-1 audio and watches all the Dateline specials.

I try to avoid most of that. I watch an occasional tribute and listen to the President's speaches. But when I think about what I was doing that morning, I have to take a minute to regroup. I still sit in stunned silence as the images play over and over in my head. I'm not trying to foget; that would be impossible. But I'm not trying hard to remember either.

I hope and pray the War on Terror will be successful and we can help end the bloodshed and fear they have brought to the world over the centuries. Someone needs to stop them. This is a fight to the end. The end of terrorism, I hope. Then end of everything, maybe. But we can't just let this continue. It's about time the world stood up to Al Qaeda. Enough is enough.

Quadruple Stuf Oreos

Today is my wedding anniversary. My wonderful husband bought me the most perfect card in the store(he has a knack for picking good cards), and presented me with two packages of Double Stuf Oreos. I love Oreos and especially Double Stuf. He only likes regular Oreos, so we don't get Double Stuf too often.

Of course, I can't eat Double Stuf Oreos without making at least one quadruple stuf. For those of you who are unaware of this wonderful treat, here is how to make them:

Carefully twist open two Double Stuf Oreos, leaving all the cream on one side of each cookie. Eat the leftover chocolate parts, or throw them away if you like. Lick the cream on one of the half-cookies and stick cream sides together. For a better seal, run the tip of your little finger around the edge of the cream(licking it works, too). Enjoy.

It's a great way to overload on the best part of the Oreo: the cream filling.

Never-ending Fanfic

I have written over 100 pages of fanfic in Microsoft Word and I'm far from being done. Over 40,000 words in one fanfic alone. Wow.

I guess I won't have to worry about being able to write enough words for a novel, several of which I have planned out or started. I think I'll celebrate page 100 by starting yet another novel. This one is science fiction and I've had the idea for a while now. In fact, I have two unstarted science fiction stories, one of which will will likely be a short story. Wish me luck, Reader.

This Guy is Funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYP3jhqUC3I

Tubby Tragedy

The kids and I were watching clips of cartoons on youtube.com and came across a Teletubbies slide show. At the very end was somebody's sick drawing of Tubby death. Sick bastards. Our 7-year-old told our 4-year-old that the Teletubbies were dead. She believed it and kept talking about it and even shied away from toy Teletubbies. I explained to her that they were ok, but she wouldn't believe me until I went to the PBS Kids website this morning to show her. Poor kid. Just so you know, the Teletubbies are just fine. They're not dead, they're not sick, they're ok. I'll have to preview everything from now on.

Fiesta Time

Hello, reader. It's Saturday again. This afternoon, we are off to my in-laws' for a "Mexican Fiesta". There will not be any Mexicans there(I asked), nor will there be anything even remotely Mexican besides the food(which itself is reason enough to go - Mexican food is awesome).

I am making this:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mexican Chicken and Rice

2 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 med. green pepper, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 can(8 3/4-oz.) whole kernal corn, drained
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup salsa
1/2 to 1 teaspoon salt
1/2 to 1 teaspoon chili powder(opt.)
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 to 1 1/2 cups uncooked instant rice
1/2 to 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

In a large skillet, saute chicken, green pepper and onion in oil until chicken is no longer pink and vegetables are crisp-tender. Add corn, broth, salsa, salt, chili powder, and pepper. Bring to a boil. Stir in rice; cover and remove from heat. Let stand for 5 minutes. Fluff with a fork. Sprinkle with cheese. Cover and let stand 2 minutes or until cheese is melted.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I use maximum cheese, if not extra. I love cheese. I have no idea where I found this recipe. Either the internet or a cooking magazine. It's delicious. Definitely worthy of a family fiesta.

The Invisible Parent

My husband has a superpower. He can become invisible to children. If they need something, they can be standing right next to him, but for some reason have to come and find me to solve all of their problems. It's like they don't see him. I sure would love to borrow this power for a while.

Saint Soapbox Debate #3

Well, it seems participation has dropped. Debate #2 was awfully short. Here's a nice controversial topic for our third debate:

The War in Iraq

Is the war in Iraq a legitimate part of the War on Terror?

Lost, but not quite...

Have you ever gotten lost in a place you know you should know your way around? That happened to me today. There's a little lane out in back of the barn that leads through the fields and to a back road. Easy enough to see where it goes from this end, but I've never taken the lane coming back by myself before.

I was bringing the 4-wheeler back from the neighbor's along that back road and I couldn't find the far end of that little lane. It should have been easy to find, but it wasn't. I could see the barn from where I was, but I couldn't find my way back to it. I found what I thought was the lane, but then I found myself sourrounded by corn and soybeans and figured it was the wrong way. I did know where I was, so rather than drive around like an idiot in full view of other neighbors, I took the long way home, which brought me around the in-law's place down the road, and a half-mile stretch of highway. I think I might have run the 4-wheeler out of gas, cause when I stopped, it did too.

I really need to learn how to navigate around my home.

Something to think about...

I used to be a very quiet person. For the first fifteen years or so of my life, I hardly said a word. Then for some unknown reason, I began to talk. Since then I have this odd combination of shy/quiet in person and talkative online.

Sometimes, I think I should go back to being quiet and especially apply that to the Internet. Why? Because I usually end up saying something stupid, thoughtless, and/or downright embarassing. There are many times I am thankful for having kept silent because I found out later that I misinterpreted something and really would have made a fool of myself.

Saint Soap Box Debate #1

Since I haven't yet got suggestions to choose from, this week's debate topic will be Blogger's Choice.

And the topic is:

Paparazzi: celebrity vs. privacy

Should being famous include sacrifice of privacy?

Let the Debate Begin....

This is a brand new feature here at the soap box. I will host weekly debates, to be conducted in the comments. The debate will go on for one week only, after which time, the comments will be turned off and we will move on to a new debate. Please keep your arguments clean and try to stay on topic.

What would you like to talk about? All suggestions are welcome. At the beginning of each week, I will choose a suggested topic at random.

Comments

I just realized that I failed to enable the comments option on every single post I've made this year. So, I have gone back and republished all of them.

Words of Wisdom from Me

Life is a journey back to our beginning, a great ride on God's boomerang.

Happy Birthday, America!/Pizza Hut sucks!

Happy Independence Day, reader! It's America's birthday! Or, as my 4-year-old says, "Makaka bothday". She asked me if "Makaka"(America) could have a cookie. Isn't that sweet?

We went to the small parade in a town about 4 miles from here. This year's parade ran a little longer than usual. We decided to leave a little early, so I gathered the children from the roadside where they were catching candy(with supervision) and there it was. My dream car. The most heart-stoppingly beautiful automobile ever manufactered. And I was close enough I could have reached out and touched it. Awesome!

Then we met up with the in-laws again at Pizza Hut. Keep in mind the building number is 666. This particular Pizza Hut is plagued by lousy waitresses. The service sucks and always has. Every Independence Day, my husband's family eats lunch at Pizza Hut. Every year, they debate returning. I guess this year's experience was the final straw. The local Pizza Hut has officially lost their patronage.

The place wasn't especially busy. There was only one other table occupied when we arrived. We waited twenty-three minutes just to get our cheesy breadsticks. It took thirty minutes to get our pizza. While I don't mind the seven minute interval between appetizer and entree, the overall wait was ridiculous. This wasn't just a random occurance either. This happens almost every time we eat there.

I picked up a few of those "how are we doing" cards and passed them out to various family members. The customer service department will be hearing from us.

But, it's still a good day and we have lots of leftover pizza.

Names

Naming trends are something I just don't understand. Some celebrity makes it big and suddenly a significant number of newborns are named after him/her or the character he/she portrays. Are their parents under some strange assumption that the babies are somehow connected to their namesakes? Or did said celebrity simply remind America that the name existed?

One of my favorite names is Caitlin. Thanks to the soap opera Sunset Beach(brought to us by the late Aaron Spelling, may God rest his soul), we now have several second graders named Caitlin. One local teacher complained because she had four Caitlins of various spellings in her class at once. Seeing as how most Caitlins are now 7-8 years old, we need a new crop, so come on, America. Bring on the Caitlins!

Then there are mysterious names, such as George. I, for one, have never met nor heard of a child named George. There are, however, many adults named George. Where did all the Georges come from? Are they born fully grown? Do they grow up using nicknames to keep the true number of Georges a secret? This George conspiracy must be exposed!

Blogs

I know what you're thinking, reader. Two posts in one day. It doesn't happen very often. Banner year for the soap box.

As I sit here, sipping my seasoned(read "day-old") coffee, I am surfing the internet, reading other people's blogs. There are some really fascinating ones out there.

For a fun blog-reading experiment, I started following links from blog to blog. I found quite a few that were more interesting to me than my own, but perhaps I am ill qualified to judge my own blog, as it's all old news to me.

What is it that we find so fascinating about reading other people's thoughts, stories, experiences, etc.? Is it the comfort of connecting to another person without the responsibility and emotional risk of a two-sided conversation? Or am I overthinking this?

What do you think, reader?

The Wonderful World of Fanfiction

Fanfiction(fanfic), for those of you who don't know, is fiction based on characters of television, books, or movies. It is just for fun and nobody makes any money from it.

I started writing fanfic about 7 years ago, but gave up on it, leaving a great cliffhanger ending on my story. I still haven't finished that one.

This year, I started writing again and I had forgotten how much fun it can be. I write my stories in installments, which I post on a web forum. I write short installments, so I can stay ahead of the postings(I only post one part a week).

Feedback is the best part. It's so much fun to be able to interact with my readers.

Fanfic is great practice for those with serious literary aspirations. There is little pressure. Your readers don't expect your work to be good or even necessarily believable, but they let you know when they really like it.

I highly recommend it as a writing exercise or a relaxing hobby.

We Are Running the World???

My mom talks about how the "grown-ups" are supposed to be running things, not people her age. Now I know what she's talking about.

Now people my age are doing important things and helping to run the world. It's kind of scary. When did this get dumped on us? We shouldn't be running anything. We're the kids.

I can't even begin to imagine my children being old enough or mature enough to do anything as important as running the world, but it's not so far away.

All you parents out there, remember that you are not raising children, you are raising future adults. Those cute little kids will one day be making important decisions that will affect everyone and everything.

Funny Names

This site has a list of names(some of them clever) people have used.

http://members.aol.com/pinjunkie/

Super Mom to the Rescue

This morning I had a crash course in speed baking. The kids with summer birthdays have assigned "birthdays" during the regular school year. Yesterday, my 3rd-grader found out for sure that hers is TODAY. I had to bake cookies.

I decided to bake sugar cookies. I got the dough all mixed up and realized it had to chill for two hours! This is one of the reasons I never bake sugar cookies. It might help if I read all of the directions first though, huh?

So I wondered if maybe I could chill it faster in the freezer. I didn't get to find out because I subsequently forgot about the dough and went to bed.

I woke up this morning, hit the snooze button, then remembered the cookies. (This "Oh Crap" moment brought to you by tired mothers everywhere.) It was almost 6:00 a.m. and I had to wake the kids up and the baby was crying. This was a job for Super Mom!

I had about 45 minutes to bake cookies and get kids off to school. Chocolate chip cookies to the rescue. I could practically make them in my sleep. I'm not talking "break-and-bake" wimpy stuff. I mean real cookies. [I would like to take this moment to thank God for microwaves, babies who decide to go back to sleep, and ovens in which you can bake a dozen and a half cookies at once.]

The dozen came out nicely, but the half dozen were overcooked a bit(read darn-near burned). So, I figured some poor kids would just have to be satisfied with smallish extra-browned cookies. Luckily for them, I managed to get another dozen baked and cooled enough to replace them before the bus came. The day is saved!

Now I shall hang up my Super Mom cape for the day.

Breaking News!!

I was out for a walk about an hour ago and I heard a few sirens, which isn't all that unusual. I was just headed for the house when I noticed that two fire trucks were up the road at the neighbor's house. That was the entire local fire department!

Our neighbor to the south likes to rebuild and customize classic automobiles. He was driving this nice black something-or-other(sorry to disappoint any enthusiasts with my lack of knowledge here) that he drives quite frequntly. When he got near the house of our neighbor to the north, his car caught fire.

Nobody was hurt, except the car. They put the fire out, coasted her down the hill to Neighbor South's driveway, and pushed her into the garage.

Hopefully, that is all the excitement for tonight.

Crazy Drivers

A post on Mike D.'s blog got me thinking about rude and/or crazy drivers. I happen to know one. He can't stand people who drive too fast, drive too slowly, cut him off only to turn a few blocks ahead, slow down way before they need to turn, and the usual: no turn indicator, practically stop in the middle of the road, won't stay in their own lane, refuse to yield to merging traffic, etc. He'll swear, honk, and sometime swerve at drivers who tick him off. He's likely to provoke road rage as retaliation.

It's funny how he doesn't like people who drive too fast, as he drives too fast himself. One time he got into a race with his sister. They were racing on the highway, taking turns passing each other. He says his father and grandfather used to race each other home from church. What a wonderful example they set.

He is actually a very good driver, just not a very safe one. Hopefully he'll grow up before he meets someone like himself on the road.

Tricks Babies Do

My 5 1/2 month-old has perfected a trick whereby carrots can go into and out of her mouth simultaneously. This makes for a very messy(and very orange) baby. She also insists on sucking her thumb between spoonfuls. Maybe I should invent a feeding smock. Otherwise, we'll be starting a new baby fashion trend of one orange sleeve.

When it gets a little warmer, I suppose I could feed her without her clothes. She is washable, after all.

Fun With Words

I got this in an email:

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Cheeshead Mantra

It's really fascinating the way people talk. Language varies greatly from one region to another and every region has it's quirks.

For instance, the local chant: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. It seems that everyone around here says this. Is it a Wisconsin thing? Is it the mantra of the Cheesehead?

At first, it seemed to be something uttered when searching for the right words. Then I heard people using it in the middle of their sentences. It's Wisconsin's version of the "like" phenomena that hit California. You can make "um" every other word of your speech and still sound normal. We should put it in the state motto. "Wisconsin: Um, cheese!"

Does your state or community have it's very own chant?