Spring Cleaning

Ok, so I haven't posted about my progress with spring cleaning. There isn't really much to report. I got sidetracked. I did wash the walls upstairs and did half the woodwork. I really need to get back to it.

Lent

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the kick-off for the Lenten season. This year, I am giving up chocolate, which will not be easy, as I love chocolate. Adding to the struggle is the fact that there will be Oreos in the house all through Lent.

Ash Wednesday is also the start of my Spring Cleaning. Now that I'm blogging more regularly, I plan to post updates showing my progress. As always, I will start with the upstairs, and work my way down, saving windows for last due to the cold weather. I'll probably do the closets next to last, because they're a big project. I've promised the children that they get to help. They're young and inexperienced enough to be excited about it. I don't expect the excitement to last very long.

Lawyer Humor

These are supposedly things people have actually said in court.

ATTORNEY : When is your birthday? WITNESS : July 18th. ATTORNEY : What year? WITNESS : Every year. ____________________________________ ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS : I forget. ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY : How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY : How long has he lived with you? WITNESS : Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : Are you sexually active? WITNESS : No, I just lie there. _____________________________________________ ATTORNEY : What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS : He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY : And why did that upset you? WITNESS : My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS : We both do. ATTORNEY : Voodoo? WITNESS : We do. ATTORNEY : You do? WITNESS : Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he? WITNESS : Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS : Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS : Uh.... _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : She had three children, right? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : How many were boys? WITNESS : None. ATTORNEY : Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS : By death. ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual? WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS : No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS : All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS : Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 pm. ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS : Huh? ______________________________________ As for the last!!! ATTORNEY : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Mice!

I caught mouse number four last night. That's four mice caught within a week. Victor mouse traps are still the best. The mice are going for cheddar this year.

Goodbye Writer's Block

The writer's block of Thursday is history. It was a tough one, because I was in a super-creative mood. I guess I wasn't really uninspired, but rather I wasn't inspired by any one thing in particular. Mostly, I wanted to work on my fanfic, but I was stuck on a scene. I've since gotten past that and finished the chapter. Big thanks to my sister for talking through the plot line with me.

Any writing would have done, but I couldn't think of any other topics. Still, I needed to create something. I eventually settled for starting another music video. It's the first I've made with actual video clips, and it's lots of fun. I'm half done with it, but I'm waiting on more clips. Fan videos are awesome.

Writer's Block

I hate writer's block. I really want to write, but I can't come up with anything. I think I'll have to force my way through it. I could always scrap it later if it sucks. I've rarely felt so uninspired. This is depressing.

Cold!

Last night's low was -17 F. Luckily, it has since warmed up to -11. I'm going downstairs to build a fire in the wood furnace.

Got another one....

I squashed another mosquito yesterday. I failed to kill one I saw a few days before, so the score is now:

Me: 2
Mosquitos: 0

Blonde Joke

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and th e Irishman said,"Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed,"Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.”

Mosquito

I killed a mosquito yesterday in the cellar. It is kinda warm down there from the wood furnace, but seeing a mosquito in January is just weird. 2007 is off to a very strange start. The score stands at:

Me: 1
Mosquitoes: -1

To Do List

Here is part of my To Do List for today. I'll edit from time to time throughout the day to show my progress. Completed items are in italics.

Kids on bus
Dishes
Laundry
Write chapter of fanfic
Write 500 words of novel
Blog about mosquito
Make dessert

Nigerian's View on Al Qaeda vs. USA

The following was posted on the Time-Life blog by a person in Nigeria:


All this yammering about the virtues or otherwise of lashing back at Al Qaeda really gets on my corns.You all have little idea the kind of enemy you are contending with.Previous generations were luckier, their enemies came garbed as ENEMIES. You could tell them a mile off. Well, the forces that despise freedom are not all that stupid anymore. They sat down in hades and concocted a plan to confuse you on their identity.They picked a religion that has held an eternity-long grudge against you and all the values that you stand for.That religion also resents playing second fiddle on the world stage to yours(regardless that a large number of you think the idea of God is some form of fibbing).Next they found excuse in your support of Israel.Far as they are concerned they'd love you to death if you stood by and allowed them erase Israel from the map.And over time they have been infiltrating your lands in their hordes,quite the same as the old KGB went about planting moles during the cold war days.And increasingly they are popping up to attack you.In my far away country over here in Africa I can feel their hatred for you such that I am confident Sept 11th is child's play compared to what they mean to bring upon your heads once the chance presents itself.They love to hear you yapping and yammering about what Bush is doing right or wrong.They love the stupid French who - did you realize - have always been the soft underbelly of western civilization.Go back and look at history.The French, habouring their own selfish and undeserved aims of replacing the US as world power as well as overtake the English language with their tongue, play unwitting agent to the Islamofacists, challenging the US on every issue and scoring cheap popularity points among Arab countries, as though that would save them from the Arab/Muslim ire.As an aside, please believe me when I say you are courting the worst possible dangers sitting back while Iran develops the nuke.Dont be surprised when a smuggled version goes off in Boston harbour someday. When it does, or even worse happens, I will wonder with the rest of the world where all your yammering got you.Understimate your foes and that day will come sooner than expected.

Resolutions

I didn't used to make New Year's resolutions, because I was sure I'd be unable(or unwilling) to keep them. The last few years, I've decided to go ahead and make them. Here's my list for this year:

1. Get more sleep.
2. Finish reading all of the books I've borrowed from family members.
3. Read every work of fiction I own.
4. Keep the house cleaner.(kids can help with that one)
5. Lose ten pounds.
6. Say the rosary every day, or at least every other day.
7. Keep the vegetable gardens weeded.
8. Get more organized.
9. Publish a book.
10. Pay off the unsubsidized portion of my student loans.

Most likely to be broken: #7
Least likely to be broken: #10

Back to School

Christmas break is over and the children have gone back to school. So, of course, I had another school day nightmare last night.

The dream started out nicely. The kids were up and dressed and ready to go early. We were just waiting for the bus to come. Then it all went crazy. The bus showed up and none of the children wanted to get on it. For some reason, I was wandering around in a bathrobe and I had to drag the kids out to the bus. I could only take two on the first trip and had to go back for the third, who was throwing fits over her coat, then her backpack. All the while I was escorting children to the bus, there were two strange women following me around and talking about what awful things kids were up to these days.

All in all, it wasn't such a bad dream, as the kids actually got ON the bus. I've had dreams where we had to chase the bus down the road. I am happy to say that all three of the school aged children made it onto the bus this morning with no trouble. Great start to the new year!

Pepsi Forever

Here is a wonderful fake article about the "Pepsidebility". This is a very serious condition affecting many adults around the world.

P.S. I believe this is my first ever post from my new laptop.

Smiles

One of the reasons the angel is one of my most favorite people: she's the only person who smiles every times she sees me. All I have to do is walk into the room, and her face lights up in the prettiest 1-year-old smile the world has ever seen.

An Irish Toast

This is one of my favorite Irish toasts:

Here's to me and here's to you
And here's to love and laughter
I'll be true as long as you
And not one moment after

Feel free to add your own. There are plenty more good toasts out there, though not all of them are lucky enough to be Irish. :)

Leftovers

Last night, I made corn chowder out of leftover corn and boiled potatoes. It was easy and delicious. I hope to find more creative things to do with leftovers besides soup and meat pie.

Websites

I've taken over my sister's website. This is my second or third attempt at website building/managing(I did two Star Wars fan sites simultaneously, so I don't know if they count as first and/or second).

The site has a built in FTP, which took a little getting used to, but it's going better than I expected. I don't like having to mess with the html code. That is a big pain in the neck. It hasn't beat me yet and I think the site looks fairly decent.

Anyway, you can click here to see my work. Please let me know if anything is broken. Thanks.

Thanksgiving

I had a pretty good Thanksgiving. I started my morning by sleeping in until 8:00. Then I fed the children their breakfast and started baking pies. I prepared the crusts last night to save time. I baked one cherry pie and two pumpkin pies.

Then I gave the angel a bath and tried to get her down for a nap, but she had no intention of sleeping on her first Thanksgiving.

Around noon-ish, we loaded up the kids, one of each kind of pie, and the cranberry-orange relish I had made on Tuesday, and headed for the in-law's house, where we ate in the garage so we'd have enough room. Their garage is plenty big, so even with all of my husband's family there, we didn't seem like a big group.

All-in-all, it was a good day. The angel didn't like the turkey, and stubbornly refused to eat anything but a roll and drink her formula. I had several good conversations with my mother-in-law, and even one with my father-in-law -- a good step toward my goal of improving in-law relations.

Now I'm up way too late and it's almost tomorrow. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving, reader. :)