Random Stuff I Wrote

My mom once told me that I should keep everything I write. Having followed that advice, I have a box, and several file folders, full of stuff I've written. I was going through the box today, and I found this thing that I wrote probably about 5 or 6 years ago. I thought I'd share it with my reader.

Random Thoughts

Have you ever walked outside on a clear night and looked at the stars? I mean in the country, where you can see thousands of them with few distractions. There's a calm feeling that washes over you and you start to wonder. You wonder about life, why we're here on this Earth, what there is besides this universe.

Have you ever found the answers to your questions through a night of steady thought? Why are we here? Why did God make us? What purpose could He have for us? Why does He even put up with us? We, people, are such screw-ups. We ruin everything, try to understand things that we clearly were not meant to understand, and confuse ourselves beyond the point of redemption in the process. God must have infinite patience.

Do you wonder how your parents dealt with things? You know that times were different then, but do you ever wish you could try it? You enjoy your youth, but you wonder why your parents wouldn't go through it again if they had the chance. This is confusing. Life is confusing. Maybe we're not meant to know why God put us here, or how we're supposed to do things. There are a few rules, but mostly, life is full of choices about unimportant things. They may be important to you at the time, but one day, you'll look back and wonder why you were so wrapped up in something like that. Why did it seem so important?

The questions above cannot have only one answer. They are open to interpretation. Some people wish to have life figured out for them. It doesn't work that way. It you're following some sort of plan, laid out by an "expert", then you're not living at all. You're not experiencing life.

Is health really so important that we need to think of it every minute of every day? Why should you be upset about being slightly overweight when so many are living with fatal diseases? You may be able to fix your problem with exercise, but they're stuck with what they've got. No amount of exercise can prevent cancer or cure it. Why is it that those who are most concerned about health are healthy people? Why are they so concerned about everyone else's lifestyle? The doctors can't even decide how people should live. Why should we listen to someone who creates lifestyles for a living?

Why is everyone so concerned about being politically correct? What is that about, anyway? If you are secure in who and what you are, you will not be offended by politically incorrect speech. If you are truthful, which is difficult these days, then you will not be offended by those who tell you the truth. Do people even want to know the truth? Politicians don't think so, and maybe they're right. People are apathetic. They don't care what happens as long as it doesn't happen to them. Where did humanity go? Do we have to teach a special course in college now? Truth, Decency, and Compassion, 101. Who would take that course? Anyone who needed an elective. It sounds like an easy four credits, doesn't it? Well, I'm sure we could find a way to make it more difficult. Maybe we should make that a choice for a major. You can earn your degree in Lost Art of Humanity Studies.

Soap Opera Poem

Anyone remember Sunset Beach?  Here is a poem I wrote yesterday,
about troubled matriarch Olivia Richards.

The bottle did befriend her
And the alcohol did send her
To a world devoid of feeling
Pain with which she's never dealing

Drunken laughter hides the pain
As she's lost herself again
Unaware of the infliction
Her family feels from her addiction

The ease with which her sorrows drown
Makes the spiral going down
A place that isn't quite so scary
As the man she chose to marry

She hears her children's pleas
Through that liquor-fostered ease
Can they ever hope to reach her
Will life's lessons ever teach her

It's a struggle for supremacy
Begging blinding urge for clemency
She must find a brighter end
She will sober up again

Litterbugs

I just picked up litter along our stretch of highway. Why people can't wait until they find a trash can is beyond me. I picked up an Aquafina bottle. Somewhere out there is a bottled-water loving litterbug. That just seems strange to me.

It's a lovely day. The temperature is somewhere in the 70s, I believe. The thermometer isn't working, so I can't be sure. weatherman says we should see record highs, so that means 80s again. Maybe I'll wash windows today.

Been Sick

I may just give up on spring cleaning. I got sick, and haven't done any more cleaning. I've lost my momentum. It's kind of depressing. At least the sun is shining.

Spring Cleaning

Ok, so I haven't posted about my progress with spring cleaning. There isn't really much to report. I got sidetracked. I did wash the walls upstairs and did half the woodwork. I really need to get back to it.

Lent

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the kick-off for the Lenten season. This year, I am giving up chocolate, which will not be easy, as I love chocolate. Adding to the struggle is the fact that there will be Oreos in the house all through Lent.

Ash Wednesday is also the start of my Spring Cleaning. Now that I'm blogging more regularly, I plan to post updates showing my progress. As always, I will start with the upstairs, and work my way down, saving windows for last due to the cold weather. I'll probably do the closets next to last, because they're a big project. I've promised the children that they get to help. They're young and inexperienced enough to be excited about it. I don't expect the excitement to last very long.

Lawyer Humor

These are supposedly things people have actually said in court.

ATTORNEY : When is your birthday? WITNESS : July 18th. ATTORNEY : What year? WITNESS : Every year. ____________________________________ ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS : I forget. ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY : How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY : How long has he lived with you? WITNESS : Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : Are you sexually active? WITNESS : No, I just lie there. _____________________________________________ ATTORNEY : What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS : He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY : And why did that upset you? WITNESS : My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS : We both do. ATTORNEY : Voodoo? WITNESS : We do. ATTORNEY : You do? WITNESS : Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he? WITNESS : Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS : Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS : Uh.... _____________________________________ ATTORNEY : She had three children, right? WITNESS : Yes. ATTORNEY : How many were boys? WITNESS : None. ATTORNEY : Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS : By death. ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual? WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS : No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS : All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS : Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 pm. ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY : Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS : Huh? ______________________________________ As for the last!!! ATTORNEY : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS : No. ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Mice!

I caught mouse number four last night. That's four mice caught within a week. Victor mouse traps are still the best. The mice are going for cheddar this year.

Goodbye Writer's Block

The writer's block of Thursday is history. It was a tough one, because I was in a super-creative mood. I guess I wasn't really uninspired, but rather I wasn't inspired by any one thing in particular. Mostly, I wanted to work on my fanfic, but I was stuck on a scene. I've since gotten past that and finished the chapter. Big thanks to my sister for talking through the plot line with me.

Any writing would have done, but I couldn't think of any other topics. Still, I needed to create something. I eventually settled for starting another music video. It's the first I've made with actual video clips, and it's lots of fun. I'm half done with it, but I'm waiting on more clips. Fan videos are awesome.

Writer's Block

I hate writer's block. I really want to write, but I can't come up with anything. I think I'll have to force my way through it. I could always scrap it later if it sucks. I've rarely felt so uninspired. This is depressing.

Cold!

Last night's low was -17 F. Luckily, it has since warmed up to -11. I'm going downstairs to build a fire in the wood furnace.

Got another one....

I squashed another mosquito yesterday. I failed to kill one I saw a few days before, so the score is now:

Me: 2
Mosquitos: 0

Blonde Joke

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and th e Irishman said,"Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed,"Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.”

Mosquito

I killed a mosquito yesterday in the cellar. It is kinda warm down there from the wood furnace, but seeing a mosquito in January is just weird. 2007 is off to a very strange start. The score stands at:

Me: 1
Mosquitoes: -1

To Do List

Here is part of my To Do List for today. I'll edit from time to time throughout the day to show my progress. Completed items are in italics.

Kids on bus
Dishes
Laundry
Write chapter of fanfic
Write 500 words of novel
Blog about mosquito
Make dessert

Nigerian's View on Al Qaeda vs. USA

The following was posted on the Time-Life blog by a person in Nigeria:


All this yammering about the virtues or otherwise of lashing back at Al Qaeda really gets on my corns.You all have little idea the kind of enemy you are contending with.Previous generations were luckier, their enemies came garbed as ENEMIES. You could tell them a mile off. Well, the forces that despise freedom are not all that stupid anymore. They sat down in hades and concocted a plan to confuse you on their identity.They picked a religion that has held an eternity-long grudge against you and all the values that you stand for.That religion also resents playing second fiddle on the world stage to yours(regardless that a large number of you think the idea of God is some form of fibbing).Next they found excuse in your support of Israel.Far as they are concerned they'd love you to death if you stood by and allowed them erase Israel from the map.And over time they have been infiltrating your lands in their hordes,quite the same as the old KGB went about planting moles during the cold war days.And increasingly they are popping up to attack you.In my far away country over here in Africa I can feel their hatred for you such that I am confident Sept 11th is child's play compared to what they mean to bring upon your heads once the chance presents itself.They love to hear you yapping and yammering about what Bush is doing right or wrong.They love the stupid French who - did you realize - have always been the soft underbelly of western civilization.Go back and look at history.The French, habouring their own selfish and undeserved aims of replacing the US as world power as well as overtake the English language with their tongue, play unwitting agent to the Islamofacists, challenging the US on every issue and scoring cheap popularity points among Arab countries, as though that would save them from the Arab/Muslim ire.As an aside, please believe me when I say you are courting the worst possible dangers sitting back while Iran develops the nuke.Dont be surprised when a smuggled version goes off in Boston harbour someday. When it does, or even worse happens, I will wonder with the rest of the world where all your yammering got you.Understimate your foes and that day will come sooner than expected.

Resolutions

I didn't used to make New Year's resolutions, because I was sure I'd be unable(or unwilling) to keep them. The last few years, I've decided to go ahead and make them. Here's my list for this year:

1. Get more sleep.
2. Finish reading all of the books I've borrowed from family members.
3. Read every work of fiction I own.
4. Keep the house cleaner.(kids can help with that one)
5. Lose ten pounds.
6. Say the rosary every day, or at least every other day.
7. Keep the vegetable gardens weeded.
8. Get more organized.
9. Publish a book.
10. Pay off the unsubsidized portion of my student loans.

Most likely to be broken: #7
Least likely to be broken: #10

Back to School

Christmas break is over and the children have gone back to school. So, of course, I had another school day nightmare last night.

The dream started out nicely. The kids were up and dressed and ready to go early. We were just waiting for the bus to come. Then it all went crazy. The bus showed up and none of the children wanted to get on it. For some reason, I was wandering around in a bathrobe and I had to drag the kids out to the bus. I could only take two on the first trip and had to go back for the third, who was throwing fits over her coat, then her backpack. All the while I was escorting children to the bus, there were two strange women following me around and talking about what awful things kids were up to these days.

All in all, it wasn't such a bad dream, as the kids actually got ON the bus. I've had dreams where we had to chase the bus down the road. I am happy to say that all three of the school aged children made it onto the bus this morning with no trouble. Great start to the new year!

Pepsi Forever

Here is a wonderful fake article about the "Pepsidebility". This is a very serious condition affecting many adults around the world.

P.S. I believe this is my first ever post from my new laptop.

Smiles

One of the reasons the angel is one of my most favorite people: she's the only person who smiles every times she sees me. All I have to do is walk into the room, and her face lights up in the prettiest 1-year-old smile the world has ever seen.